Fifth Umbral Moon 25th Sun:

Today I met just the greatest guy at Hawker’s Alley!  I’ve been feeling bored and unattractive after the divorce so I had dolled myself up in that cute new dress I got from Mog Station and took a stroll around the market stalls.  Shopping always cheers me up!  There was this Highlander guy standing right outside near the entrance and he caught my eye because there was just something about him.  He was handsome, but in a classic sort of way, not like he was trying to look good or anything. Really, he had ordinary features and ordinary hair and ordinary eyes, as though the gods had just sort of left all the settings on default the day he was born.  Even his clothes were boring. Probably never bothered to change them before going out.  What made me look twice was how confident and outgoing he seemed.  He was talking to everyone who passed by, even going out of his way to shout across the walkways when people tried to avoid him.  I guess not everyone had time to stop and chat, but he sure was enthusiastic about socializing!  He must have caught me staring because the next thing I knew we were having a private conversation.  I knew I looked good so maybe it’s not so surprising.

His name was Dfghjk Sellgil, and within just a few minutes of talking with him I knew it was my lucky day.  He was definitely into me!  And not only that, but he’s really rich!  The first thing he told me was how much gil he’s got.  I almost felt a little sorry for him, I guess he figures he won’t have much luck with women unless he’s straightforward about the money stuff.  I mean, I’m not like that at all, I’d never turn a guy down because he was poor and I told Dfghjk so, but he just kept reassuring me that he had plenty of gil. He was really easy to talk to because he would listen to everything I said without interrupting or asking questions, and I found myself telling him all sorts of things about my life and my dreams.  I told him about my ex-husband and how I’d been dumped so that he could marry this other woman, and how I’d thought we were such good friends, and now I was trying to get over it and move on.  I might’ve even said that I was “in the market for something special” if you know what I mean!  Dfghjk was definitely excited to hear those words, let me tell you!  I guess something about the way I said it really let him know I’m interested in what he was selling, so to speak!

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After that it was getting late, so I said farewell and told him I’d like to see him again.  I guess he didn’t want me to go because he started telling me about all the gil again and how it could be mine.  He even offered me a free Pokemon Go account! To be honest I started to wonder if he was trying to buy my time for the night, so I excused myself quickly to put that idea out of his head.  My rejection didn’t seem to bother him, as he immediately started calling out to other people passing by as soon as I walked away.  And that kind of bothered me!  I’m going back tomorrow to see if he’s around, and maybe we can go somewhere quieter and talk, and I’ll be able to convince him I don’t care about how much gil he has.

Fifth Umbral Moon 26th Sun:

So I went back to see Dfghjk today.  You’ll never believe what that scheming, no-good cheating bastard was up to!!  I caught him talking and flirting with not one, not two, but three other girls from my FC!  Sure, I may have mentioned something about him at the FC house last night while we were planning the big raid, but I made it clear that he was my guy and off-limits!  Really, I can’t believe how catty some girls can be.  And none of them are even Miqo’te!  To make things even worse, I  heard that Dfghjk was offering them the same heaps of gil that he’d promised me yesterday.  I wanted to march over there and give him a piece of my mind, but I kept remembering how sweet he’d been to me and how he’d listened patiently while I poured my heart out.

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Maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt?  I bet he thought I wasn’t interested when I didn’t want any gil from him right away.  So I decided to do a little shopping and wait for those man-stealing sluts to leave poor Dfghjk alone.  I wasn’t going to cause a scene right in the middle of Hawker’s Alley.  I spent a few hours browsing the stalls, and after awhile I noticed that Dfghjk was finally alone.  He was still trying to chat with everyone who walked by, but I mean, the poor guy is obviously lonely so who could blame him?  I took a quick look in the mirror at the armor merchant before sashaying over to talk to him.

Dfghjk acted like he’d never seen me before in his life.  Can you believe that!  I gave him my cutest smile and before I could say a word he was all over me with the exact same blather from yesterday about all these piles of gil he’s got and wouldn’t I like to have some of it.  For a minute I didn’t know what to say.  Maybe he’s joking around?  But no.  I tried to remind him about the wonderful hours we’d spent together talking about our hopes and dreams, and it was like he wasn’t even listening to me.  He stood there ignoring me completely and continued to call out to everyone around while I became more and more upset.  I didn’t know what to do.  I felt so stupid, and wanted to slap his very ordinary face!  I can’t believe I ever thought he was handsome.  I resisted the temptation to get all dramatic about it and just turned on my heel and walked out of Hawker’s Alley.  So much for that!

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Fifth Umbral Moon 27th Sun:

Once I had some time to calm down and collect my thoughts I started to wonder: Did I overreact? Was I jumping to conclusions? It’s hasn’t even been 24 hours yet, and already I miss him terribly. Perhaps there was some perfectly reasonable explanation for his behaviour, and I stormed off before he could explain? I decided to make one more trip to Hawker’s Alley and see if Dfghjk wanted to talk things out.

Except that he wasn’t there!  When I first walked into the market I saw the familiar Highlander profile standing in his usual spot, with the same ordinary face and boring clothes.  He was turned away from me, talking to the people passing by as always.  But when I went a little closer, I realized it wasn’t Dfghjk.  This new guy looked almost identical to him, right down to the eyes and hairstyle, but I could just tell it wasn’t the same person.  Just to be sure, I walked up to him and introduced myself.  You’ll never guess what his name is!  It’s Kjhgfd Gilsell!  And he told me he’s got lots of gil…

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About The Author

Warrior extraordinaire and Midlander heart-throb, Oldbear Stormborn is the founder and Editor-in-Chief of The Moogle Post. Fiercely dedicated to FFXIV, Oldbear is passionate about giving back to the community he enjoys so much any way he can.

3 Responses

  1. Karelia Emeraldeyes

    Omg!! Haaa! What a hilarious take on a scenario we all know so well! <3 Well done!

    Reply
    • Pickles

      This was great up until the non-existent ending. Also a bit weird that it’s told from 1st person but the author and the images are not the same person. >_>

      Reply
      • Oldbear

        I’m sorry you didn’t like the ending. Personally I think it’s pretty funny that the new guy is also a gil seller, and she’s STILL completely oblivious. Regarding the POV, yeah, it’s written from the perspective not of my character, but of a clueless young female character (who’s in the pictures).

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